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Conversations with a toddler

July 10th, 2008 · 9 Comments · a day in the life, bridget, random

A few recent conversations with the kid. This is a mere sampling. If I wanted a full record I’d have to follow her around 24/7 with a video camera… tempting idea. Anyway, Enjoy!!

Big girls don’t poop (in their undies)
T: Thank you for pooping in the toilet instead of your underwear.
B: You’re welcome. Thank you for pooping in the potty too.
T: (smile) You’re welcome. We are pretty big girls aren’t we.
B: Yea, I’m really big. This head (pointing to her head) got bigger and bigger.
T: Really?
B: Yea. I think I’m growing up.
T: Yes, you are.

Girl Cheese sandwiches
T: What do you want for lunch?
B: An Ezekiel sandwich.
T: A what kind of sandwich?
B: An Ezekiel sandwich. Girl cheese.
T: Oh, you want a grilled cheese sandwich?
B: Yay, girl cheese.
…The conversation resumes as we begin eating…
T: So, if this is a girl cheese sandwich – are there boy cheese sandwiches?
B: Yes, there are.
T: How do you make a boy cheese sandwich?
B: You go like this, and like this, and like this (she demonstrates squishing two slices of bread together with her hands).
T: Oh, that’s pretty cool.

Bridget has been experimenting with the word “dead” lately. I’m not sure where she picked it up, but she has some pretty interesting uses for it. The next three conversations all happened in the same day.

Dead Apple
B: Can I have an apple?
T: Sure. (handing her a slice that she hadn’t finished from about half an hour earlier)
B: I don’t want this one. Its dead.
T: Its not dead, its just a little bit brown. It still tastes good.
B: No, its dead. We don’t eat dead apples.
T: Fine, I’ll cut off the brown part for you. Is that better?
B: Yes. Thanks mom.

I’m dead
B: (falling over backwards) I’m dead.
T: You’re not dead.
B: Yes I am. I fell over so I’m dead.
T: No, you’re just silly.
B: I’m silly and I’m dead.
T: Okay.

Dead Eye
B: Aunt Holly’s eyes come out.
T: What?? Do they fall out like on corpse bride?
B: No. Her other ones were dead and they falled out. So she had to get new ones.
T: So she has new eyes?
B: Yea.
T: Do her new eyes fall out?
B: No, they are not dead. Just her other ones are dead.
…P.S. To the best of my knowledge Aunt Holly has never had any issues with her eyes that would have caused her to need new eyes. She does wear contacts though, and I have wondered if those are the eyes that Bridget is referring to when she says they fell out and she needed new ones. Who knows.

Big like my friends
T: I need you to please show me how big you are (trying to get her to stop playing with her lunch)
B: (standing up) I’m this big.
T: No, I mean please eat your food like a big girl – and stop playing
B: (still standing) I’m just really, really big – like my friends Lukie and Josh.
T: (trying really hard not to laugh) Yes, you are big like your friends. Can you please eat like a big girl now?
B: Yes, I can.
T: Thank you.

You can if you want
This takes place at the A&W Restaurant. Dave had just left to go back to work and Bridget was taking her sweet time finishing her root beer float.
T: Can you please drink a little faster, its time to go.
B: Look mom, a fly! A fly. Oh, it landed on the window.
T: Bridget, I need you to finish your drink so we can go. I don’t want to be here all night.
B: Its okay. You can be here all night if you want.
T: I don’t want too.
B: Yes, you can if you want.
T: But if I stayed here all night the restaurant would close and it would get dark. And they’d probably kick me out.
B: If they kick you out it will hurt.
T: Well, I don’t want it to hurt – so please finish your drink.
B: And you will be sad.
T: Please, just drink. I don’t want to be here all night.
B: They will kick you out.
T: Probably. Are you finished with your drink?
B: (takes two more drinks) Okay, I’m all done.
T: Great, lets go.
B: Wait, I need one more drink.
T: (grunting) Alright, climb down and then you can have one last drink.
B: (climbs down, takes drink)
T: Okay, hold my hand, lets go.
As we are walking out of the restaurant hand in hand…
B: I held you hand and they didn’t kick you. I’m so nice. I kept you safe.
T: Yes. Thank you for coming to the restaurant with me.
B: You’re welcome.

And I’m three.
B: (holding up 2 fingers) You are 2, and I am 3.
T: No, you are 2 and I am 27.
B: You’re 27?
T: Yes. And you’re 2.
B: You are 27, and I am 3. 27 and 3 – that’s pretty cool.
T: You’re not 3, you’re 2.
B: No, I’m 3. I just barely turned 3.
T: Oh really?
B: Yay, I did.
T: Okay.

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9 Comments so far ↓

  • Dave

    Those were so funny. I am sad that I miss so many of these moments while I’m at work or school.

    BTW, there’s a small spelling error on one. I had to read it about 5 times before I figured out what was supposed to be said: “I need to to please…”

    🙂
    -David

  • Kellee

    How do you remember all of those so well? She is so funny!

  • Tina

    Dave – Thanks, spelling error fixed.

    Kellee – I actually type them up on my computer as soon after they happen as I can, otherwise I would forget. When I have a few, then I post them. And there are some good ones that didn’t make it here either.

  • Amber

    That gave me a pretty good laugh! Thank goodness for blogging so we can remember all these crazy conversations with our kids. I still have a list of things Andrew has said that I still need to post.

  • Jared

    These little conversations with Bridget are my favorite of your posts. So funny! The best, still, in my opinion, was the “Daddy’s stuck in a meeting” discussion.

  • Sandra

    Thats smart to record them. I laughed about her protecting you from being kicked out of the resturant! 🙂 Kids say the funniest things!

  • Mary Leishman

    I love reading your blog. Those conversations with your girl just makes me laugh. LOL. I’m tagging you with a fun blog tag. Check out my blog for the rules. Have fun!

  • Angie

    What a sweet little girl. She must be super smart to keep you on your toes like that!!! And how great that you’ll be able to hold those conversations over head to be used at strategic times when she becomes a teenager!

  • Livia

    You are so on top of it. I always hope to catch the cute things. Occasionally I get them written in my journal, but as I’m sure you know, my blog is not so up to date as yours… hopefully one day.

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