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Conversations with a toddler, V (New Baby Edition)

January 25th, 2009 · 7 Comments · bridget, random, spencer

A collection of conversations we’ve had with Bridget relating to Spencer.
Warning: There is all manner of body part talk and bodily function talk here. Read at your own risk. 🙂

You have a boob?
B: Dad, Spencer is crying.
D: He’s hungry. I’ll feed him.
B: (eyes wide, and sincere as ever) Daddy, you have a boob?
D: (shoving his hand up his shirt) Yep, I do. See.
B: You have a hand in your boob?
D: That’s not my hand, its just my boob.
B: No.
D: Yes.
B: Let me see.
D: No.
B: (shoving her hand up her shirt) Look. I have a boob too.

My boobs are stuck in
Bridget showed up in my room with a doll several days ago while I was nursing Spencer…
T: Hi. What are you doing?
B: Nothing. Just sitting here.
T: Oh. Are you going to feed your baby too?
B: (shaking her head no, and looking a little scared at the idea)
T: Why not?
B: I can’t.
T: Why can’t you?
B: I can’t because my boobs are stuck in.
T: Oh. We’ll you could just pretend if you want.
B: (proceeding with uncertainty) Um.
She lifted up her shirt and tried to get her doll lined up just right.
B: Mom, I can’t see. Is Emma eating my boob?
T: Yes, you’re doing it just right
5 seconds later she was done nursing and she ran out of the room with her doll. She hasn’t tried again since.

He loves you
B: He loves you mom. (It should be noted that neither Dave nor Spencer were in viewing distance)
T: Who does?
B: Spencer.
T: Oh. Well, he loves you too.
B: Yay, he does
T: And he loves daddy too.
B: And daddy?
T: Yes. And daddy.
B: He loves all of us?? Oh my gosh!

My boobs are leaking
Bridget ran in while I was doing laundry and stole one of my nursing pads
T: Excuse me, what are you doing?
B: I need this.
T: Why?
B: Because, my boobs are leaking.
T: (laughing silently) Ok. Bring it back when you’re finished.
She brought it back a few minutes later.

He still has an owie
The first time Bridget saw me change Spencer it was shortly after he was circumcised. There was a piece of gauze attached at the point of incision… that was to fall off itself as it healed.
B: What’s that?
T: It’s a little bit of gauze. Kind of like a band aid.
B: Why?
T: Because Spencer has an owie. It will fall off when it gets better.
B: What kind of owie?
T: He got a little cut when he was at the hospital.
B: Oh. Ouch… poor little boy.
About a week later, after the gauze had fallen off…
B: Oh no, he still has an owie.
T: No, its better now.
B: Yes he does. (making ouching sounds, and pointing). See?
T: Oh, that’s his penis. Its were the pee comes out when he goes potty. Only boys have them. Its not an owie.
B: I have a penis. That’s where my pee comes out too.
T: No, you don’t. You’re a girl.
B: My pee-pee comes out of my butt, just like my poop does.
T: Not exactly.
I proceeded to try and explain things a little bit. But that’s about where the funny part ends… and I really don’t think she gets it. But that’s okay.

A minute ago
B: He was in your tummy a minute ago, huh?
T: Yep. A few weeks ago.
B: And then he came out.
T: Yes, he did.
B: He was really dirty. Are you so glad he came out?
T: I am glad. I like having him out.
B: So you can hold him. And change his bum.
T: I do like to hold him.
B: He didn’t have any clothes when he was in your tummy. Not any diaper either. That was so nice that you bought him some clothes.
T: Yep.
B: He was in your tummy a minute ago, but then they just cut him out.
T: Yes they did.

I want to be your son
B: You have a daughter?
T: Yes. You are my daughter.
B: No. I’m your child. Spencer is your daughter.
T: Spencer is my son. You are my daughter. Both of you are my children. Girls are daughters and boys are sons.
B: But I want to be your son.
T: You do?
B: Yea, I’ll be your son. And Spencer can be your child.
T: Whatever. Silly.

Like you did a minute ago
B: Mom! Aunt Holly has a baby in her tummy. Its a boy baby.
T: I know. Do you know what his name is?
B: …to Holly: What’s your baby’s name?
H: Isaac.
B: His name is Isaac.
T: Oh, that’s a good name. I like Isaac.
B: She just has a baby in her tummy like you did a minute ago.
B: …to Holly: You have a baby in your tummy! Did uncle Donny put him in there?
H: (laughing) Yes.
B: Why?
H: You’ll have to ask him that.

Where does his pee come out
During bath time…
B: Where does Spencer’s pee come out of?
T: Right there (pointing)
B: Out of that little cut? Ouch-y
T: Well, its not exactly a little cut.
B: And when is pee comes out it just squirts me
T: Sometimes. He did pee on you last time, didn’t he?
B: Yea, he did. Silly little boy.

Did you get them at the store?
B: Why do you have pads?
T: So my boobs don’t leak all over my shirt.
B: Did you get them at the store?
T: Yes.
B: You did!? You got your boobs at the store? What?
T: No. I thought you meant the pads. I got them at the store.
B: Which store?
T: The one that sells mommy things.
B: Oh.

Oh, the things she comes up with. She really loves her little brother though, and that’s great. She loves to hold him when he’s “awake and happy,” and she is always readily available to shove the pacifier in his mouth or turn on the music to his mobile. She can’t quite pronounce ‘hand sanitizer’ but she knows that she needs to put some on before touching him. I think she heard me say something similar once, because she is constantly saying “He’s just not sure” whenever he is awake, looking around, or making a weird face. She cracks me up!

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