…yes, there are more…

How do you turn off the sun?
B: Mom, how do we turn off the sun?
T: We can’t.
B: Why?
T: Because the sun doesn’t have a light switch. It just gets light in the morning and dark at night.
B: But how does it do that?
T: Well, the earth rotates on its axis…
B: What?! The earth. What?!
T: I’ll explain it later (I think I need to get a globe and a flashlight to demonstrate)

Going to the Ball
B: I’m just playing in the living room.
T: What are you doing down there?
B: I’m just getting ready to go to the ball with Cinderella.
T: Oh really. Are you going to dance with the prince?
B: The little polly pocket prince?
T: Yay.
B: No. He’s too little.
T: Are you going to dance with a pretend bigger prince?
B: He’s not pretend. He’s real. Its Daddy!!
…Then she ran off to dance with Daddy at the Ball that was being hosted in our living room. All the polly pocket princesses were invited.

Dinosaurs are bad for our bodies
B: If I see a dinosaur I’ll just poke him.
T: Poke him? Why will you poke him.
B: Because dinosaurs are bad for our bodies.
T: Oh.

Who made the dinner?
B: When you and daddy were babies, who made the dinner?
T: Grandma and grandpa.
B: Who made the dinner when grandma and grandpa were babies?
T: Their mommy’s and daddy’s.
B: Oh. Who made the dinner when grandma and grandpa were babies?
T: Well, we weren’t all babies at the same time.

But, mommy is not from LOST
D: Hey Bridget. Who is taller, Jack or Sawyer?
B: Jack.
D: Who is prettier, Jack or Sawyer?
B: Um… Sawyer.
D: Who is prettier, Kate or Juliet or mommy?
B: But, mommy is not from LOST.
D: I know. Who is prettier, Kate or Juliet or mommy?
B: Kate.
D: Kate is prettier than mommy?
B: Yes, she is.
A few minutes later…
T: I wonder if I am prettier than Sawyer…
D: I don’t know, but I can find out.
(P.S. When asked I was told that I was prettier than Sawyer. There is hope for me still!)

The store that sells kids
This is a conversation between my cousin, Liz, and Bridget in the car one day.
L: Do you think one day I could have a cool little girl like you?
B: Yea, you can. Just when you go to the store that sells kids you can find one just like me.
L: The store that sells little kids. Oh. Do you think I can afford one?
B: Yes, you can.
L: How much does a little kid like you cost?
B: Just some quarters, I think.

Better than Snow White
B: Mom! I’m better than Snow White at eating apples!
T: You are? What makes you better?
B: I’m just better.
T: But why?
B: Because when Snow White eats apples she just falls asleep. I don’t fall asleep when I eat apples.
T: Well, that’s because the old lady gave her a poison apple. If you got a poison apple I bet you would fall asleep too.
B: No, I wouldn’t. I would just say awake.
T: I don’t think you would have a choice.
B: Not any choices? Why?
T: Because it would be poisoned. The poison would make you fall asleep.
B: No it wouldn’t
T: Really? Why not?
B: Because I’m just bigger and bigger.

The way shaving makes you smell
The other night Dave shaved and put on some cologne. The following is a comment from Bridget shortly after…
B: Oh, Daddy! I love the way shaving makes you smell!

I’m not on sale
Another conversation with my cousin Liz. Note: Bridget is confused between the terms “on sale” and “for sale.”
B: Do you want to buy something at my store?
L: You have a store? What are my options?
B: There are books, or polly pockets, or train tracks.
L: I want to buy you.
B: Noooo. I said books or polly pockets or train tracks.
L: But I want to buy you.
B: You can’t. I’m not on sale.
L: Why not?
B: Because I’m a kid.

A big ‘ol snot bug
D: What color are you today?
B: I’m white
D: White, huh? I’m orange.
B: Mommy, what color are you?
T: I think I’m green. The color of a big yucky booger. (I wasn’t feeling very good that day)
D: Ew!! Well, you are what you eat!
T: Gross.
B: And if you eat too many boogers you’ll turn into a big ‘ol snot bug.
T: Oh really.
B: Yea, and then I’ll blow you a way.

Milk
B: Mommy, will you play with me?
T: I need to feed Spencer right now. But I can after.
B: I want you to play with me now.
T: But Daddy can’t feed Spencer. He doesn’t have any boobs.
D: Yes, I do. We can try this.
B: (Watching intently as he lifts up his shirt)
D: Do you think it will work? Will Spencer get any milk?
B: No.
D: Why not?
B: Because when you drink milk it just goes down down down to your tummy.
T: (sarcastically) Well, its a good thing I drink a lot of milk.
D: How do you think the milk gets into mommy’s boobs?
B: Spencer just sucks it out of there.
D: But how does it get in there?
T: How do my boobs get filled up with milk?
B: You just drink milk (demonstrating) and it goes down down to your boobs. And they fill up.
D: Does that mean that if you drink enough milk your boobs will get bigger
B: Yea. Then they won’t be stuck in anymore.
Ironically, I drink less milk than either Dave or Bridget.

A Short White Dress
D: Where did you get all of your cuteness from? Was it me? Or mommy?
B: I just got it at the temple
D: Really? You got your cuteness at the temple?
B: Yea, and I got married while I was there.
D: You did?
B: And I wore a really pretty white dress. But it wasn’t long. It was just short.
D: A short white dress?
B: Yay.
D: You’re pretty cute, you know that?
B: I know.