I’ve had these “conversations” sitting in my blog drafts for a month or two now, and I haven’t been very diligent about recording new ones. So I thought I’d go ahead and post these before they become completely old and irrelevant. Oh, the things kids say!

I’m very disappointed at you
The other night I dropped a container of flour on the floor and some spilled out…
B: What happened?
T: I dropped the flour and it spilled. I’ll sweep it up in a minute.
B: I’m very disappointed at you.
T: What? Why?
B: We don’t make messes.
T: Wait. But it was an accident.
B: I know, but I’m disappointed at you.
T: (sad face) If I clean up my mess will you stop being disappointed with me?
B: Yes, I will.

Uterus
B: If you eat and you have a baby in your tummy it will get all dirty with food.
T: No, not really.
B: But why?
T: That’s just not how it works.
B: Yes. If you eat it will go down, down to your tummy and just land on the baby.
T: Well… no.
T: Okay. Imagine a couple of balloons. Your tummy doesn’t just have one area in it. Inside your tummy there’s a balloon called a stomach. And in girls tummies theres another balloon called a Uterus. Can you say that word? Uterus?
B: Uterus.
T: Okay. So when you eat the food goes to your stomach. But your baby grows inside your uterus. So the food doesn’t actually land on the baby since its in a different area or a different balloon.
B: Sometimes when I eat the food just lands on the baby in my tummy.
T: Oh, so your baby is growing in your stomach? Not in your uterus?
B: NO (in a silly voice, as though I just asked a really dumb question). The food just goes to my uterus and lands on my baby’s shirt.
T: Your baby is wearing clothes?
B: Yes, she is.
T: Never mind.

Only Boys
B: Get out of here, I’m trying to put my jammies on.
T: I’m just coming in to change Spencer.
B: But I need privacy.
T: I won’t look at you then. I’ll just go over to the crib and change your brother.
B: Only boys can see me when I get my jammies on.
T: Only boys? Why? Why do you want boys to see you when you put your jammies on?
B: So they can say, “Ok. Good.”
T: Um..

Boys love their selves
B: I love you
T: I love you too!
B: No! You don’t. Only I love you.
T: Can’t we love each other?
B: No.
T: Please.
B: Okay. Girls can love each other, but boys only love their selves.

Because you’re a daddy
D: I need to remember to slow down when I eat.
B: Why?
D: Because if I eat too fast I’ll eat too much, and then I’ll get fat.
B: Ok. Just eat fast then you can play with me.
D: I just said that I need to slow down when I eat.
B: I know.
D: Do you want me to get fat?
B: Yes.
D: Why?
B: Because you’re a daddy.

Earlier the same morning…

B: Wow. This strawberry is really big.
T: Yep. Its huge.
B: Its a daddy strawberry.
T: It is?
B: Yea, and its fat too.
T: (silent chuckle) Ok, dear.