For those of you unfamiliar, Potty Talk is my ongoing series on the joys of potty training. The first installment was in January 2008, soon after we began potty training with Bridget. Between January and June 2008, a total of seven posts were dedicated to the process. Since then, the potty news fell silent.
Until now.
When we had our second baby (about 3 months ago), I was a little bit worried about regression in the potty department. I’d heard horror stories. Anyway, I was pleased to have avoided that – at least mostly (she had only ONE accident shortly after he was born that caused me to think that is was related his crowding her throne). She has actually been nothing short of amazing with her new little brother, but that’s a topic for another day.
The past week or so has been interesting.
Accident after accident. Sometimes just a little. Sometimes puddles. Sometimes #2… boy, those are fun. About one a day.
She could care less if she doesn’t get to wear princess underwear anymore. And she’s a pro at timeouts – they don’t get to her anymore either. After about the third day in a row of accidents it was pretty obvious that whatever we were doing wasn’t working. I sat her down and we had a heart-to-heart. We talked about what would be a better punishment – what would get her to stop having accidents.
First timeout was increased to 5 minutes. And no princess undies.
Then 10 minutes.
Then another 10 minutes.
Last Tuesday she had an accident that lost her the privilege of playing with friends for an entire week. She hated having to tell her friends “no” when the asked if she could play, and she hated when I told her “no” to inviting friends over. Since last Tuesday, she’d done really well! No accidents.
Until today.
We were sitting down to lunch and she said, “don’t look at me.” I asked why, she wouldn’t say. I asked if she had an accident. She said, “I’m not telling.” We went around and around like this for a couple of minutes before she told me that she had pooped her pants. Yes, poop.
Ugh!
“So, if you had an accident, why are sitting at the table and not in the bathroom?”
“I didn’t want you to know”
“Did you know that you get in even more trouble if you have an accident and try to hide it from me?”
(nodding)
“Go to the bathroom. I’ll be up in a minute.”
“BUT, I just don’t want you to take away my polly pockets!”
“Just go to the bathroom. We’ll talk about this in a minute.”
Yep.Taking away Polly Pockets was the next thing. Only for 2 days, but she did not want those to go! She tried apologizing. “I’m so, so, SO sorry I had an accident.” She tried bargaining. “You can take my PEZ dispensers AND my doctor stuff, but please don’t take my polly pockets.” She tried begging. “Please. Oh please mom.”
I wanted to give in. But I couldn’t. That wouldn’t get us anywhere.
So I had her go down to the playroom with me. We cleaned them up, and I made her hand them over. She cried for a few minutes, but overall was pretty mature about it. She said she understands why I took them away.
But does she understand?
Will it keep her from having accidents this time?
What will I have to try next? No friends. No toys. No movies. No treats. Just math homework for the next 48 hours???? Ha.
(That probably gives math a negative wrap. Sorry, math – you shouldn’t be the one punished here. I actually liked doing math homework most of the time.)
Has anyone else had to deal with these periods of regression? What has worked for you? Seriously, I’m dying over here.
Maybe go the other way. Instead of taking things, give things for no accidents. For every hour she is dry a handful of M&M’s or something. Just a suggestion thankfully I haven’t had to deal with that so far. Let us know how it goes. Good luck.
Carlitos is completely potty trained, but he did have a regression a few weeks ago… He’d been really sick with diahrrea, enough that he really had no control, so I had him in pull-ups for a couple of days. I suspected the diahrrea was a side effect of an antibiotic he was taking, so we switched to a different one, and this time it made him constipated- only for a day. But after that he was so afraid of pooping that he would not sit on the toilet, and he would just cry and cry and cry about it all day until it comes out in his undies (or even on the floor while he’s peeing). After a few days of this (and trying a few different things, including bribing with candy) he still wouldn’t do it. Until one day as he was screaming on the toilet (I had him sit there- I knew he had to poop), I asked him if he would rather go on his “baby potty” (potty chair, which I’d stowed away a while back), and he said yes. He spent a few days using that… I got sick of cleaning it out though, so I just hid it again and the next time he needed to go he simply accepted that the baby potty was gone and went in the toilet.
I don’t know how this could be of any help- Carlitos is quite a bit younger- I don’t think you’d really be up to pulling out a potty chair and cleaning it out every time she goes 😉
One thing I can say though- It may not even be related to the stress of being removed from her throne… A friend of mine has a 3 and 1/2 year old son (who happens to be her younger of 2 kids) who was fully potty trained, and then started peeing in his dresser, behind the TV, in the corner- you name it. And she’s still dealing with the problem, so I don’t know what works. Maybe it’s a little bit of a rebellious stage? Come to think of it, one of my little brothers started doing that too- peeing in random places, and it drove my mom crazy. She tried all sorts of punishments- taking away favorite toys, sending him to his room, time-outs, making him help clean it up, and none of it seemed to work- he just sort of quit doing it after a while.
Good luck! I really really hope that something does work soon so you don’t have to deal with it anymore!
sorry that was really long and not really helpful 🙁
Tonight it was poop in the tub. Diarrhea. Gross. Yes, she said her tummy hurts… but still…
How does one know when accidents stem from legit stomach related issues vs. when ones child learns that she gets in less trouble if she’s *sick* when the accident strikes. Bleh!
I hope this phase passes soon.
I don’t have any great ideas…if I hear of any I will let you know. Brooklyn has been potty trained for a little over a month now…and I was hoping we were done with that! Now you tell me we may not be. )= You will have to let me know how you solve the problem, as we may have to deal with it later.
Kaylee was a super pro once she finally decided to potty train… Charles was already with us for a few months, so I figured we were all clear. She also decided to regress and have so many blazing accidents that I nearly auctioned her off on ebay. I can’t remember many details except that it lasted too long, I was TOO mean, and it was so awful that I have blocked it from my memory. I do remember that it ended, though, mostly. Even now she will occasionally wait too long, and she’s six! Wish I could help, just be a better mom than me!